Friday, December 7, 2012

30 Days of blogging.....Day 2

Day 2 of 30 days of blogging! Here goes! 

Describe 3 legitimate fears you have and why

I am a very fearful person. I am a big over thinker and since becoming a mother I have found myself afraid of way more things then I was in the past. 

1) I am terrified of leaving Hensley. I know that I will probable leave this world before him and actually pray that I do but I am scared to death of it happening before I am very old as is he. I hear so many stories of parents dying or mothers dying from cancer or car accidents every day on the news. I just can't imagine leaving him. I can't imagine him not having me in his life. He has a great father and grandparents and extended family but I just firmly believe in my heart Hensley and I were meant for each other. He makes such an impact on my life daily and I like to think that I do that same for his life. I have so many fears of not being here for him. I have never spent a night without him which some people may say is insane and in fact a lot of my friend have told me this is crazy but I am always scared something will happen. I have of course been out without him and my husband and I have been on dates and left him with my parents for several hours, but no matter what my husband or parents say I just cant make myself leave him there over night. I can't imagine my life without him or his without me. 

2) I also have an INSANE fear of the ocean. I use to have dreams all the time when I was a child that I had drowned in a pool never in the ocean and I have had that dream several times about Hensley as well. I have no fear of a pool but the ocean scared the crap out of me! I am afraid of the water and everything in it! It terrifies me! I have no idea why I just always think I will die once in there! HAHAHA. My husband loves it and Hensley has that same love for it but when we go to the beach I just cant do it. I hate this fear and I have no idea where it comes from but it's there none the less. 

3) Lastly I have a big fear of not raising Hensley in a two parent household. My husband and I have a loving great marriage but as with all marriages there are up's and down's, and even though I never see us not being married or raising Hensley together I also see so many couples we know and love who also thought it would happen to them and it has for one reason or another. I am not a big believer in divorce but I was not raised a in a typical mom and dad household and I do believe that makes a big impact on a child. I desperately want Hensley to have that constant stable loving household of mom and dad his whole life and I work VERY hard to make that happen. My husband and I both are in this for the long haul and I believe that commitment will stand the test of time. Nowadays people take marriage so lightly. They take it as something that can be dissolved so easily. I pray daily that our vows to one another and love for one another will stand the test of time. 

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