Tuesday, July 24, 2012

The Greatest Woman I Have Ever Known

I am a true believer that everyone comes in and out of your life for a reason. Some people come in without much impact and others make such an impact they change who you are. Some people you can't imagine NOT having in your life. I am very lucky to have a lot of family and all my family lives very close by and we see each other a lot of the time. But there is one person who not only has loved me since the day I was born but who has shaped me and guided my life in every way.

My grandma is one of those people that once you know her its impossible to forget her. She is a strong woman, one who has been through so much in her time. She is someone I have always and will always look at as unbreakable. She raised 5 children who were born within 4 years! Her and my Grandpa have been married 50 years this past November and she took on two grand children (including myself) to raise. She loves like no other I have ever known. She believes in hard work and has never (even now at 71) stopped working hard. 

When I was growing up I always remember knowing she wasn't going to put up with any excuses and she expected everyone's best.....always! She is so strong willed and if she had something she wanted to accomplish she NEVER let ANYTHING hold her back. Me and Grandma have a different sort of relationship then most women and their Grandma's. I not only see her as my Grandma but like my mother because she raised me but also the older I get the more I see her as my friend. She taught me so many things, how to love school, how to treat people, how important GOD is to have in my life, and most importantly how to be a mother. 

My Grandma has always been so strong. But in the last few years she has battles so many things like cancer and diabetes and heart problems. She has been anything but strong the last year and slowly I have watched my Grandma, who could do anything and everything, slip away. She became weak, less able to do the things she loves like garden or go to church. She began to lose a lot weight and at time forget what she was doing or even who she was. She has always taken care of everyone and never seemed to need taking care of until now. 

To see her cry is heartbreaking and to know she is in so much pain that she doesn't want to fight to stay here anymore is crushing! I can't imagine my little boy having no memory or her when he is older or her not being here to have an impact on his life. I can't imagine him not fully knowing what an amazing woman she is. I can't imagine the overwhelming pain my Grandpa is going through watching all this happen or the all consuming heartache he will endure when she is no longer with us. 50 years of marriage this day in age is almost non existent and they have been through so much together. I can't imagine what it would be like to lose the person you have spent every day with for the last 50 years. 

My Grandma's all time favorite bible verse is Matthew 21:22 "If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer.” 

I believe she is strong but I also believe she is tired. Tired of pain. Tired of doctors and hospitals. Tired of not having answers to all this pain. And tired of fighting what she feels is a losing battle. I know she is ready now at any time to go home. Her forever home. I know she is ready to walk without pain hand in hand with the LORD. And even though its easy to be selfish and want her here and want her with us I have reached the point where all I want for her is happiness and peace. Her body and her mind need rest.  

In this time of saddness and praying for only comfort for her and not knowing how much longer she has here with us I will look to the Lord and his word for my comfort and the knowing that I love her and will always love her and be thankful for the impact she made on my life.

2 Timothy 4:7-8 
I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day—and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing

2 Corinthians 5:8 Yes, we are fully confident, and we would rather be away from these earthly bodies, for then we will be at home with the Lord. 

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