Thursday, February 16, 2012

The Loss of a Child

As I sit here watching my sweet precious boy play in the bath with such excitement and laughter I have to think about so many out there who have lost children. I hear so many stories day after day of precious little ones passing away for some reason or another, just today a friend posted on facebook about someone she knew losing their five year old little boy. Another friend of mine recently lead me to a blog about a mother who lost her 7 month old...just like that...out of the blue. No explanation at all.

Its a harsh reality of life and as foriegn as it seems to have to bury a child it happens daily all around us. No warning. No reason. It. Just. Happens. It hits home for me so much because before this little energetic, perfect little boy entered our lives we too suffered the loss of a child. It was different from alot of people's story because we never got to know her, or see her, or hold her. But the loss is just as devastating.

It's not something we talk about....ever...really. We never met our little girl we named Ava Grace. She was diagnosed with Trisomy 13 when I was 6 months pregnant and we lost her shortly after. I never got to hold her, kiss her, see her face, touch her sweet soft skin. We were told she had alot of severe abnormalities and I wonder daily if i should or shouldnt have seen her. I have a vision of when she looked like in my mind: beautiful, perfect. I suppose thats the image to have not the one of reality. Ava was a surprise to us but after the initial shock she was someone we were dying to meet and to love. She was originally due in mid July of 08 but we lost her in April of 08. It was a devastating time for me and my husband. Luckily for us it brought us closer together. I hear all the time where the loss of a child tears a couple apart because the loss is just so devastating and heartbreaking. I am thankful it didnt do that us. Soon after this loss we moved into our new home that we had purchased and planned for because of Ava Grace. We were living in a one bedroom apartment living our young carefree lives before we got the news of Ava. We bought our home because of the yard, the space, the kid friendly neighborhood. We knew it would be a good place to raise a family and even though she were no longer anticipating her arrival we moved in our large three bedroom house with only one bedroom to fill. It was a hard time but in mid July of 08 when I thought I would have the hardest time knowing we should have been expecting her delivery we got yet another "surprise". We were expecting!

One the same week that our little girl should be entering the world we were finding out we were pregnant again. We had not planned for another baby right away figuring we needed time to heal but GOD has a plan for us all and although i'll never know why we couldnt have our little Ava I do know that had that not happened we would have never had Hensley, and I can not imagine life without him. He is our miracle child. With all the problems and health concerns with not only Ava but myself during that pregnancy Hensley blew our minds. I never had one problem carrying him (not even morning sickness!!!) and he was the easiest labor and delivery ever. I figured since this blog was about our lives as Hensley's parents and all the adventures he takes us on it would be good to start out letting you all know how he came about. He was a gift to us in a time of mourning. He was a light in our dark times. He is our miracle and the light of our lives.

We miss Ava Grace everyday. Think about her everyday. Wonder what it will be like in Heaven one day to meet her. We trust in GOD's plan for us and 100 percent believe that Hensley was sent to us to help us move on and recover from what is life's greatest loss.


  1. Hey Jen,
    Heaven gained another angel about a month ago and I'm sure Ava Grace is showing "her" the ropes. :) I haven't had much grieving but today I'm just uneasy. I decided to find your story and read about her and know my baby has a friend. :)