Friday, October 26, 2012


It's taken me a while to grasp it all, but I have finally arrived at the grown-up place of life-is-what-you-make-it and there are lots of things in life we go through that aren't comfortable or ideal, but they could be so much more incredibly worse, and a simple life of comfort does nothing to change us, mold us, make us better, stronger more beautiful versions of ourselves....

I have been reminded so much these past few months of just how wonderfully blessed we are, and the older I get, the more I embrace change as an opportunity to learn just what I am capable of.

I am capable of so much.

...and I am excited at the opportunity of new challenges, more love....perhaps I have been planted for too long and this little bit of discomfort will challenge me, in my young 27 years of life, I hope to continue to push myself more toward new chapters in the story of our life.

They will be good chapters. Great actually. Full of love, laughter, good people, and amazing memories.

The past few weeks I have learned that life flows on, and I want to ride every tide, every wave, every calm with purpose.

Lately my spiritual side of life has become such a strong part of me that I feel like I can never get enough. Having a child makes you that way I think. You can't help to be so grateful for the miracle you are given and get to live with daily that you have to feel more connected to GOD. Prayer has become something I find myself doing countless times throughout the day instead of just at night. I have so much to be thankful for that a lot time when I find myself talking to GOD I find I am just thanking him over and over again for the insane amount of blessings I am given daily that I don't deserve. I can not believe that he trusts me so much that he has entrusted me with another life to care for and to mold. What greater gift can he possibly give us but that of a child??

Contentment has been something I have been asking for a lot. I feel like it's something each and every one of us strives for, to be content with so many different aspects of our life.

Philippians 4:11

11 Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.

This is what Paul said in Philippians and I just think it's such a great goal to set for our own lives. How amazing would it be to be content no matter what the circumstances!!??? 

I have found myself seeing the good in the world and in people since I have begun this spiritual journey. I have found myself drawing closer to the grander amazement that GOD is BIG and ACCESSIBLE and like any parent who loves a child, he wants us to find the joy and good in life. We have to embrace all religions and races and not see the differences of the faces that walk into our lives but the similarities in their hearts. We all suffer through loss and we all rejoice when good things happen and that acceptance and celebration of life and the little things? That's GOD (to me).

I saw something recently where a guy was trying to teach his students a lesson. He had a large empty jar and asked the students fill it with large rocks. When it seemed no more rocks would fit he asked them if it was full. Of course all said yes. He proceeded to pull out a bucket of gravel and poured it in the jar. The gravel filled the spaces that were left open between the rocks, and he asked again, "Is it full?" And again they responded yes.The teacher pulled out a bag of sand and poured it in the jar. It  filled empty spaces inside. Again the question was asked if it was full. Again the students responded "yes". Lastly, he pulled out a pitcher of water and poured it in the jar. It seeped down in between the sand and gravel and rocks. He proceed to tell them the meaning of this experiment. If you would have put the big rocks in last they never would have fit, meaning, if you don't get the big important stuff in your life figured out and made a priority first you will never have time for all the little stuff.  This story really spoke to me and forced to figure out what needed to go in my jar of life first! There have been so many times in the past were I felt I was cupping my hands trying to hold water in when it's steady pouring out and there is nothing I can do to keep it there. Prioritizing makes that happen a lot less!

A huge thing for me recently has been trying to remember to pray (and be genuine when I do) for people who aren't exactly my favorite people.

But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you; Matthew 5:24

I wouldn't exactly call them my "enemies"  but there are several people who have left my life for various reasons that I try to pray for daily. I find that I am more willing to actually WANT the best for them even if they haven't been the best to me. Losing people is never easy, no matter how they go. If you loved them it's always hard. But, you learn a lot about yourself though pain, things you never knew you wanted to learn. You grow through pain. You may not want to grow but you will. You'll grow and that growing, that blooming, can not happen without pain.

Putting things off and making excuses was also something I wanted to be more persistent with working on. Excuses are monuments of nothingness, that lead to bridges of nowhere. Those that use these excuses, seldom become nothing, but nothingness at all. I have tried to stop making excuses in my life. I have started to stopped myself from saying the phrase "I'll do it tomorrow" or "It can wait". I don't put off social commitments as much. I try to take every advantage of a situation where I can build my relationships with the people I love and who are important to me. I embrace it and soak up the memories I can make or the lessons I can learn from each person I am around. I don't want to look back and feel like I missed so much or that I have periods in my life that are nothingness. I have tendency's to close myself off at times where I am stressed or have a lot on my mind. I get quiet and introverted. Blogging has helped me so much with that because when I get too many thoughts in my head I just write them all down here and I feel so much more free and clear headed.

I just finished reading a book that was life touching. The author asked several times throughout the book "Tell m, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" I have thought about that so much since reading this book and every time I go to make an excuse or be down or upset over something I remind myself that this is MY one life and I am responsible for making it amazing!

Just this past week I learned that ALWAYS when GOD is pushing away from something or someone he is ALWAYS pushing toward something better! I am so thankful to have a friend back in my life this past week. And there just feels like there isn't a more perfect person to be in my life during this time in my life!!

Along with so many other things I am trying to learn and improve on, most importantly I am trying to learn to enjoy where I am on the way to where I am going and see the beauty in each day!

Sorry for the rambling. 

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