Monday, September 10, 2012

Saturday Night Cuddles and Being Grateful

On this rainy Saturday evening after a long day of baseball games, visiting grandparents, and a coloring session with Daddy, we have all retired to our own little spaces in our home to relax and chill out. Andy has found his "special place" (aka The Couch!) and Hensley and I are in our king size bed, he with Iphone in hand playing a Nick Jr. game and me, reading some blogs and catching up on facebook.

It's so crazy how connected we become through blogging. How many women we follow that inspire us, teach us, and make us laugh out loud. But so many blogs of fellow mothers just allow us into their lives and that of their families so we can experience their journey with them. I have come across so many women who, like me, are first and foremost mothers. Their blogs allow me to learn through their experiences, to see it's not all a prefect world especially when raising children. They show me so many amazing ideas for making memories, how to discipline, inspiration, and to take the time to enjoy the journey. I don't feel so alone when I'm struggling with the fact that my three year old still has a paci, or when I realize that my perfectly planned family photo shoot that turned into a train wreck has happened to many other mothers. I was reading a fellow stay at home mom blogger this evening who is an amazing decorator who has a home (and motivation!) I would kill for. I always go to her blog for a lighthearted, very honest outlook. But when I logged on this evening I was face to face with a post about a fellow blogger and mom friend of hers who was approaching the one year anniversary of losing her young son. She was asking for prayers for this family in their very difficult time and as I seen the link below to her blog I had to click it. I had to see how all this had come about and how she was doing the impossible, pressing on.

After reading about her accounts of that day I learned her young son had been playing with neighborhood friends in a backyard on a rainy Tuesday. The power was out so there wasn't much else to do and he had played there a hundred times before. Because of all the rain that day the small creek in the neighbors backyard had risen and, boys being boys, they decided that creek would be fun to play in. Not knowing how dangerous the current was in this usually calm creek, the boys were playing on the edge. Her young son, Jack was too close. He fell in and the raging "creek" took him under and down to where it emptied into a much larger river in their town. He drowned there that day. Her innocent, sweet, handsome, smart little boy. She told of her grieving and her family. How her daughter fell apart and how she was keeping his memory alive. It was heartbreaking in every meaning of the word.

When I finished reading it I looked up and realized Hensley had nestled himself under my arm all curled up. I was thankful my baby boy was right there. That I could see him, hold him, feel the warmth in his skin, and his breathe against my arm. So many times it takes a tragedy for us to remember all the blessing in our lives and sometimes that means it's too late. We always feel like it won't happen to us. We are safe. We live in a safe town. We are careful. We keep a close watch. Until one day ..... it does happen. Or it does hit close to home.

We often have no problems remembering the first's for our little one's. The first steps, first words, first smile, first day of school, but we often overlook the last's. The last time they curl up in our laps, the last time they call us "momma" instead of "mom", the last time they are small enough for us to carry with ease, the last time we took a whole day to just love and focus on them completely.

This woman was so inspiring, so strong. She was still grieving and mourning her son and the loss their family had endured but she was strong. Strong for herself, her husband and her young daughter. She misses him everyday. But she has learned over the past year that her son is in Heaven and rejoicing and she has learned that even though she will never understand GOD's plan for her son, she has stopped trying to understand it and realized it's not her place to understand but to trust. Trust in HIM and HIS plan not only for her son but for all of us. She was so inspirational and her words were so moving. Her faith was unwavering and that's what got her through this insane tragedy.

It's so easy to focus on the stresses of life. The lunches being packed, the bills being paid, the homework to be done, and the house to be clean that we over look what really matters. How quickly the one thing we absolutely live and breathe for can be jerked away.

I will absolutely hold my son tighter after reading this. I will squeeze him more, kiss him more, put those day to day things aside more and soak up his amazing laugh, his beautiful blue eyes, his freckles, his accomplishments, and the times he just wants to cuddle. I don't care that the kitchen needs to be cleaned or that church clothes need to be laid out. For everyone out there that has a child, you have a perfect example of GOD's love in front of you every single day. Cherish it. Protect it. Love it. And Thank GOD for it every chance you get!!!!

Job 1:21 (KJV)

Naked came I out of my mother's womb, and naked shall I return thither: the LORD gave, and the LORD hath taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD.

James 1:17 ESV / 134 helpful votes

Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.

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